


Elain finally comes around.

by MissBrightPaw



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBrightPaw/pseuds/MissBrightPaw





	Elain finally comes around.

Elain laid in bed, the sun was high in the sky, almost midday. Lucien had left before she had woken up. The bed felt cold and empty without him pressed against her.  
She’d been awake for many hours, but couldn’t find the motivation to get out of bed, to face the day, not after last night. As the thought comes tumbling back to her, she buried her head under the covers again, resisting the urge to cry. Elain checked the bond over and over again, making sure her feelings and thoughts weren’t flowing through. She hadn’t heard or felt anything from Lucien all day, a sign that he was doing the same thing.  
Elain’s stomach twisted with guilt and sadness. Guilt that she was hurting Lucien, cutting him deep with every passing day, month, year. Sometimes she didn’t understand how he could stand to be around her when she kept rejecting the bond but maintained a relationship with him.  
She sat upright in bed, throwing back the covers, deciding that a warm bath might alleviate some sadness. She made her way the bathroom adjacent to their large bedroom and started the warm water. She watched it slowly fill the bathtub as she waited. Then she took of her nightgown and lowered herself in, sighing as the warm water covered her body.  
Elain’s thoughts immediately returned to Lucien, wondering where he was and what he was doing. She didn’t worry, knowing that he can handle himself, but also knowing that if anything was wrong, the bond would reflect that.  
The bond.  
She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. The damn bond. It was the cause of many harsh conversations between Lucien and her over the years. Although he was happy to be with her, to be married and living together in the manor, his heart yearned and ached for the bond. He never thought he would find a mate, destined to live his life alone after what happened, and then Elain was made. When she came to live at the manor with him, he thought she was accepting it, but she wasn’t. She lived in a semi-blissful ignorance of it. Trying to act like their relationship was perfect without it, even though it pulled and yanked her toward him. Some days more than others.  
Elain’s thoughts drifted to their fight last night. She called it a fight, but it was more of an argument, they didn’t raise voices, they spoke quietly and without emotion when they were upset. Maybe screaming and yelling would be better, some passion and life.  
Lucien had said that she was selfish for trying to ignore it, for ignoring the ache it caused him. That had hurt her deeply, she loved Lucien with all her being and she didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t stop it. He said that sometimes he wished she had never shown up at the Spring Court. It would have been easier for her to stay away and never give him false hope that he might find the truest love of their kind.  
Elain had felt the silent tears roll down her cheeks at those words. Shame burned her face when she realised her first thought was to do that, to leave and go back to the Night Court. But she could never do it, bond or not, she loved him.  
She laid there, the water maintaining it’s heat, head titled back, eyes shut. The bond, this damn bond. What am I to do? 

******************

He stood in the stable with his horse, letting his hand slide of it’s coat. Elain. That was all he could think about.  
Lucien hadn’t felt anything from the bond all day, it was like it wasn’t there. Well, almost. The pulling, tugging on his heart, the ache of wanting to be with Elain reminded him every second that it was as strong as ever.  
He exited the stable, leaving his horse in the stall with it’s food and water. He wandered out to the forest edge near the stable, he found a suitable tree to sit against and made himself comfortable.  
He couldn’t return to the manor, not yet. He needed time to think. Time to think about Elain and him. His heart ached at the thought. The relationship they shared, it was amazing. He never thought himself deserving of a love so pure and innocent. From someone so whole and gentle. Elain was his world, through and through.  
He leaned his head back and shut his eyes. Images of her flowed through his mind; her hair, her face, her skin. She was the most delectable thing in the world to him. Yet, she also hurt him more than anything.  
The bond.  
If it wasn’t for the bond, he wouldn’t be hurting. The unaccepted bond that she tried to ignore everyday, everyday for years now. They maintained a perfectly healthy relationship, but deep down it hurt that it wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.  
Lucien opened his eyes and glanced around at the trees and flowers, his lips curling in a soft smile as they reminded him of Elain.  
Despite the hurt and the ache he could never leave Elain, never push her away. Despite everything, he would stand by her and maybe one day, one day she would be ready. 

******************

Elain felt Lucien before she saw or heard him. She tried to steady her heart, which started being faster at the thought of him.  
She was at the table in the sitting room, she was reading a book whilst she waited. She had been waiting a long time. It was well into the afternoon when he finally returned.  
Elain didn’t move or call out, knowing that he could find her if he wanted. She silently closed the book and placed it on the table in front of her, anxiously staring at the door way, waiting to see if Lucien would come in.  
She heard his soft steps approaching the door and his scent, a mix of him and his horse. Elain smiled softly, she should have known he had been riding, that was his release when anything bothered him.  
He appeared in the doorway, not entering, just stopping to watch her. She felt a wave of relief unexpectedly wash over her as she looked her mate up and down, he was okay.  
“Good afternoon, Lucien,” She said softly, her voice barely making a mark against the crackle of the fire from the room.  
“Good afternoon, Elain. How are you?” He was so composed, so precise with every word and movement. He stood there, hands behind his back, just watching her.  
“I’m okay, I’ve just been reading. How are you?” She responded in the same manner, composed and precise.  
“I’m fine. What are you reading?” He glanced down at the back, trying to read the tattered cover of the old book.  
“Nothing overly exciting. It’s a book about flowers.”  
A small smile passed over his lips, “Of course.” He nodded.  
Elain stood from her seat, facing Lucien, she levelled her shoulders, kept her head up and looked him dead in the eye. “Lucien, would you please take a seat?” She used one hand to signal the head of the table, his usual spot.  
Lucien’s face didn’t change as she spoke, he simply nodded and moved to his spot, pulling the chair out and sitting with a grace that was amazing for someone of his size.  
“I’ve been thinking a lot today. About everything. About you and me.” She saw fear pass through his eyes. She knew what he was thinking, that this was the end. “I love you, Lucien.”  
He swallowed when he heard those words and it appeared to take him a moment to find his voice. “I love you too, Elain.”  
“I have something I want to show you…do you mind waiting here?”  
“Of course not.”  
Despite the bond being cut off from both of them, she could tell what he was feeling, after so many years she knew him outside of the bond.  
Smiled softly at him and made her way around the table, exiting the room through the day he had come in.

******************

His heart was pounding. He was terrified. He had barely been about to choke out those words at the end. Lucien made sure to keep the walls up, he didn’t want to her to know what he was feeling, the fear and anxiety that was eating him up.  
He had watched her calmly exit the room after a very ominous conversation. They had been apart all day, yet she hadn’t even appeared excited to see him.  
He glanced around the room, his eyes settling on the cracking fireplace. He tried to listen to where Elain was in the house, but she was being too quiet, possible intentionally so.  
It didn’t take long before he heard her close though, he turned to look at the doorway, wondering what was going to walk through.  
Lucien doesn’t get shocked often, he can predict most people and things, but this… this he did not expect.  
Elain appeared in the doorway, a soft smile upon her face. In her hands were a silver tray. On the tray was a plate of food, a drink and dessert.  
He looked rapidly from the tray to her face. Is this real?  
Lucien watched her approach the table, slow steps, giving him time to compose himself. She reached the table and gently placed the tray in front of him. 

“E-Elain…” He couldn’t talk, he could just stare, stare at the offering she was making.  
“Lucien,” she said softly. She took her seat again, giving him more time.  
He didn’t touch the food or the tray, or even the table. He sat with his hands in his lap, staring.  
“Lucien, you should probably close your mouth,” amusement filled her voice at how shell shocked she had made him.  
He closed his gaping mouth and breathed deeply, the smell of the food wafting up.  
“Elain, dove, are you sure?” He looked at her carefully, going as far as to let the walls down a little.  
“I am sure, Lucien. I have been in love with you since the moment I arrived in this court. Not because of the bond, but because of you. You are my soulmate, my equal, and now, I want you to be my mate.” He felt nothing but honestly coursing through the bond as she spoke.Honestly and love. But he also felt her nerves. He looked into her eyes, at the tears that were forming as she accepted the bond.  
He reached over towards her and she placed her hand in his. “Elain…I love you.” Tears started forming in his eyes as the bond thrummed with love and affection, stronger than either of them were ready for.  
He could have sworn he head a literal click noise as the bond nestled into place, filling his entire body with a love and desire so pure and whole he thought he might explode.

******************

She watched his face, the tears that formed in his eyes as he realised she meant every word. Her mate. Nothing more, nothing less. She was accepting him as her own and offering herself as his.  
She let her thoughts and emotions flow through the bond, an openness and vulnerability that was so overwhelming it was almost scary.  
“Are..are you going to eat?” She broke the silence, glancing down at the untouched meal.  
Lucien gave a chuckle, withdrawing his hand from hers. “I want nothing more than to eat. Well, that’s not true. I want you.”  
Elain blushed as the images in his head entered hers.  
She chewed on her bottom lip and she watched him analyse the meal. She had spent many hours making it perfect, denying all offers of help from the servants. Going as far as dismissing them from the kitchen.  
Elain didn’t want to admit that it had taken her three steaks to get his perfect. Two rounds of gravy to get the right flavor in his. She had had to prepare many extra vegetables so that she could select the right ones for her mate’s meal. She made his dessert from scratch, a strawberry cheesecake with strawberries grown from her own hand.  
She didn’t want to say all those things, to admit how much time she had put into making this perfect, but with all walls down, she knew he heard her thoughts. And she felt appreciation flow through as he started eating his meal. She smiled as she watched him eye off the strawberry cheesecake.  
“This is wonderful, dove. Beautiful.” He smiled widely at her, his dessert being the only thing left. “Would you like to share with me?” He nudged the plate towards her.  
“I made it for you. You don’t have to share.”  
“I know I don’t have to, but I would like to share my dessert with my mate.” She heard the emotion in his voice as he said it, a happiness pouring from him that she hadn’t felt before.  
She didn’t trust her voice, so she just nodded. Lucien spoon fed her mouthfuls of dessert, and she had to admit, she was proud of how good it tasted.  
When they had finished the dessert and the tray was pushed away, he pushed his chair out and beckoned her over with one hand.  
She gladly rose and went over to him, his hand on her waist as she was pulled into his lap. She rested her head against his shoulder, her face nestled into his neck, breathing in his scent. His head rested softly upon hers, his breath tickling her ear.  
She sighed and pulled back. “I didn’t know…I didn’t know that this is what the bond would feel like.” She searched for the right words, but she doubted she would ever find them. “It’s so pure and overwhelming. I feel like it’s covering my entire body. I feel like I’m being pulled toward you more than ever. That if I tried to walk away an invisible string would pull me right back to you.” She sighed again, lifting her hand to caress his cheek. “I’m sorry I denied it for so long, I’ve already forgotten my reasoning for it. I love you, Lucien. My mate.”  
Lucien didn’t respond but leaned forward and kissed her, softly at first, but with an ever increasing hunger. She felt it grow in the pit of her stomach, her hunger for him. The images from early flowing through her mind again.  
Elain was worried that her desire for him would cause her to scream, she wanted him, she needed him. She’d never felt like this before, and she could feel that he felt the same. Somehow that made it worse, having her feelings mirrored.  
It didn’t take long for their breaths to come in pants and gasps, for their hands to be roaming over one another. Lucien stood, firmly holding onto Elain. He carried her to the fireplace and laid her gently in front it on the rug.  
That was were they stayed for the rest of the night, into the early hours of the morning. Devouring each other, drowning their love for one another.


End file.
